Open to interpretation.

This morning I woke up with a name on my mind. I won’t write it. She’s young, ten years from now she’s going to drive her firs car out of the driveway. Dad’s going be shaking, scared to death. And two years after that she get’s to dance at her senior prom with a boy who thinks she’s everything. Four year’s later summa cum laude  from Brown. After that she’ll climb everest, backpack across Asia. Become the first woman president.

She won’t. I know it’s impossible. For the rest of the day I’m going to carry this name, and  all  of  these endless possibilities I imagine for her.  And then, I’m going to let it go.

What happened Friday isn’t something to think about.   I heard about it  from a co-worker, and the brief fragments he conveyed wouldn’t shake. I felt it shiver,  turn me rigged and I wanted to climb up the walls. “What would you be feeling right now if you was a parent to one of those little-ones,” he asked. “I’de be in prison” I told him . We were all mad. It bothered me all day and shot me out of work early.

I wanted to talk about it. to anyone and couldn’t.

That night I tried to sleep. I tossed and turned, sent out blind text messages hoping anyone would talk to me about anything because I could not bear the thoughts in my head.

At three in the morning I got my car and barreled down to butler street, I hooked a blind right and followed Allegheny River boulevard all the way to Haulton bridge and  then I blew  Freeport Road all the way back ignoring trafic signs.

A friend returns my desperate phone call but I couldn’t form any words around the feeling in my stomach. This anger. But it’s funny how just sound of someone’s voice can soothe.

Anger fizzles out.

As I read more and more about this it seems like everyone’s mad. And they all want to know why. Mental illness? Gun Control? The Media? And I’m done. These topics and issues are like giant jelly donuts we like throw over things we’re afraid of. Of cores I have an opinion on each of them, but you’ll  need to preform  a Hemispherectomy to find them.  Shut off the news and hug the people around you Damnit.  Tell you son or daughter how much you mean to them.

No. You’re not to blame, but we could all do something about this.

Somewhere out there in the world right now there’s someone  and this someone feel’s completely powerless and he’s entirely lonely. Someone needs a hand on their shoulder. Some kid sitting alone in the cafeteria needs someone to sit with him, maybe,  a pat on the back. Someone to take interest in their reality for five minutes. Social networking doesn’t count.

Start with this: call a friend you havent seen in a while, sit down for a cup of coffee, tea even. Tea is good. Not enough? Take a walk. Walking is good for the mind it straightens things out, puts them in perspective, on your walk say good-morning to the people you walk past. This is  going to feel really good. Do you know why? Because to someone you just became a supper hero, in small way you just saved the world.


About Joe
I collect crazy, and catch kitchens on fire.

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